Hello everyone, for a long while now(11yrs or so) I’ve been blessed with the curse of depression.
its been on and off, relapsing and fought, but yesterday i had an episode (still persisting but less intense compared to yesterdays) that got me thinking and opting for the option of speaking with a psychologist( i am socially awkward, the loner kind of person….) cause the accompanying suicidal thoughts are more appealing.
What prompts me to write is not the already mentioned but;
1. I tend to see that when low/depressed my major gift flows with ease. composition of instrumental music which is the aforementioned gift literally flows freely, one part building on the former, different instruments fitting into the whole. This gets me wondering if Depression is really bad. Truth is i don’t know and am using this medium to ask as many who relates or can expound on this seeming anomaly.
2. A call to all who is concerned, its is said that those who smile the most are the most sad, if you have a relation who smiles a lot and is many a times silent, please do watch same as the person could be suffering from depression. From experience and research, Depressed people do often give the tell-tale of hinting that they are depressed. Could be in songs as Chester Bennington did, song such as Iridescent, What I’ve done, Numb encore etc, Or in the books or write-ups by those affected. but one thing quite uniform is the smiles they give to people, just to hide the pain that burns within. One stage that shouldn’t be taken lightly if you have someone who fits into this class is when they suddenly are in high moods, really excited after a long time of lows…… that might be a precursor to a potential suicide, more like saying “yeah i’m resolved on what to do……. to ease myself on this pain”